One generation builds it, the next grows it, the third spends it, and the fourth inherits nothing - let’s talk wealth
Non-member article, published Sept 4, 2025
It’s a striking truth: one generation builds it, the next grows it, the third spends it, and the fourth inherits nothing. While often cited in conversations about generational wealth, this proverb reaches far beyond family history. It also holds up a mirror for each of us - showing that wealth can be built or lost not only across generations, but within a single lifetime. What story is your wealth quietly telling about you? Curious what your wealth says about you?
Consider this: you’ve built a thriving career, reached financial milestones your younger self could barely imagine, and live in a home or have a lifestyle others might envy. Yet at night, you scroll through listings for even bigger homes, read about “the next” luxury destination, and quietly wonder if you’re still falling behind. If this resonates, you’re not alone. In a U.S. culture that celebrates status, visibility, and instant gratification, wealth isn’t just about security - it’s about identity.
Your Money Story Didn’t Start With You
We all have a “money story,” and much of it was written before we were old enough to understand what money even was. Children absorb their family’s or caregiver’s beliefs about wealth almost subconsciously, some of these stories may sound familiar:
The conversation about what you can or can’t afford in your household from your caregivers.
The behaviors you witnessed from parents when large bills arrived.
The way your family celebrated financial wins - or avoided discussing them entirely.
Subtle messages like “money is the root of evil”, “rich people are selfish”, or “we’re not the kind of people who….”
The pride or shame that came from being called “responsible” for saving or “hard-working” for hustling.
Being comfortable with complete and independent wealth and abundance is for entitled rich people.
Over time, these stories shaped your beliefs about how you viewed money - not just as a tool, but as a reflection of self-worth. If money was scarce, you may have vowed never to feel vulnerable again. If it was abundant, you might tie your value to keeping up appearances. If you were told “money doesn’t grow on trees,” you may feel guilt when spending or discomfort when you succeed.
The key realization: Your relationship with money is as much emotional and inherited as it is practical. And while those early beliefs are powerful, they are not permanent.
The Psychology of “Never Enough”
In 2010, Nobel laureates Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton revealed a striking finding: emotional well-being rises with income up to around $75,000 per year (about $105,000 today), but beyond that, more money doesn’t necessarily make daily life happier. Later studies refined this, showing that while life satisfaction may continue to climb with wealth, happiness itself plateaus if emotional health isn’t already solid.
Yet Americans’ perception of what’s “enough” is ever-expanding. According to Charles Schwab’s 2025 Modern Wealth Survey:
The average American believes it takes $839,000 in net worth to be “financially comfortable.”
The bar for being considered “wealthy” is $2.3 million.
What’s fascinating is that no matter the income bracket, people feel they need roughly double what they have to feel truly secure.
Imagine this:
You earn $105,000 - enough for happiness according to research - yet feel you’d need $210,000 saved to feel stable.
At $500,000 a year, you may believe you won’t feel “safe” until you have $1 million tucked away.
Even those with $10 million net worth often say they’d be at peace with $20 million.
This is the hedonic treadmill in action: as wealth grows, expectations expand. The finish line keeps moving, leaving many financially rich yet perpetually unsatisfied.
Wealth as a Performance
We live in a culture where success is often measured by visibility. The curated Instagram feeds, designer clothes, luxury vacations, and homes worthy of magazines aren’t just indulgences - they’re signals. Psychologists call this identity signaling: spending to communicate success, belonging, or confidence, even when those feelings aren’t present internally.
…. Unlock the full article in the Birch Cove Member Portal to uncover the hidden beliefs shaping your wealth, why money rarely feels ‘enough,’ and the exercises that can transform your relationship with it.
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